An evening of dealing with my own wily bowels brought on by excessive sugar alcohol consumption (a harrowing tale in its own right) reminded me that someone told me that Alli, the weight loss product, warns those taking the product of the perils of wearing light colored pants – so I looked it up myself. Sure enough, there it is! I think they ought to do a commercial showing quick shots of people’s faces the moment they realize it wasn’t just a phart.

It’s as if the makers of Alli all agreed that crapping your pants is more acceptable if the pants are dark. How about a warning more like: Don’t bother putting on pants and stay within a five foot radius of a toilet while using this product.

It’s hard to believe that there are people among us who would roll the dice knowing the potential consequences. I wonder how many water cooler conversations have started off like this?:

“hey, I see that you’ve lost a lot of weight! Congratulations!  Remember that time when you shit your pants at work while sitting at your desk?”

The risk of EVER hearing those words spoken to me is enough for me to steer clear of Alli.