I wish that I had thought to take a picture of the steak I had for dinner last night. Let me back up first by saying before you get too nervous about the picture displayed here, it’s just a still-shot of the tail that Jason Alexander’s character had in the movie Shallow Hal.

Anyhoo, the steak that they plated-up for me was shaped in the form of a human tail. The thing is that as soon as I looked at it, that’s immediately what came to mind with its cylindrical shape and tapered, pointy end – and I honestly didn’t care. I just needed to fill the void in my cavernous stomach and if the thick and powerful 8 inch tail of a human was going to do the trick, so be it. I was at peace with my decision to move forward with the meal. I expected it to have an unfamiliar, musky taste to it but it was without a hint of what I would suspect to be the unique flavor of human meat.

It’s funny how we learn new things about ourselves through the routine events of daily living. I tell you all of this so you won’t be surprised when I’m the first to seriously consider cannibalism if we’re stranded together amid the wreckage of a plane in the Andes mountains with nothing else to eat. I call dibs on all dominant-leg quadriceps!