1) “You know, spending the week at a Motel 6 isn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be.”

2) “The flotation device around my neck sure makes it a tight squeeze through this airplane’s emergency exit.”

3) “January is a special kind of cold here in Minot, North Dakota.”

4) “Well, if all you have left is a 2-door, canary-yellow Mini Cooper, I suppose it will be ok.”

5) “Be patient with me! I have only taken a couple of flying lessons.”

6) “If I eat one more of these Golden Corral yeast rolls bathed in the chocolate fountain, I’m going to explode.”

7) “How many walkers have you killed? How many people have you killed? Why?”

8) “Why does this hotel room smell like an adult bookstore?”

9) “Yes, that most definitely looks infected.”

10) “I hope those aren’t human hairs.”