Monthly Archives: November 2015

Carolers Give Me Nervous Gas

I just saw a commercial featuring a bunch of carolers doing some caroling. I hope that carolers never darken my doorstep. I’ve always been very uncomfortable with adults who are comfortable with singing a song right in my face. I … Continue reading

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Civil War Reenactment: Practical Considerations

If you’re a Civil War reenactment enthusiast who is all charged up about a big 3-day weekend reenactment-fest out in the woods with your club of fellow adult make-believers, I’ll bet it would be a huge disappointment to learn that … Continue reading

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A Fez, A Go-Kart and a Dream

The way I see things for now, I have about 20 more years before retirement. Once I retire, I figure I’ll join a group like this and hit the parade circuit. It’s never too early to plan and I don’t … Continue reading

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The Chiggers Are Thick In Gainesville

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The Death of My Crepe Paper Suit Pants

I’m a little neurotic about throwing away a pair of suit pants but believe it is finally time to lay my 15 year old pair of black pinstripe suit pants to rest. One belt loop is held on with a … Continue reading

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Crackers

I once heard a comedian tell a joke about watching Duck Dynasty/Swamp People or one of those similar shows. He said he liked to sit in front of the TV and eat a sleeve of crackers while watching a show … Continue reading

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Adele is in the house(party)!

I have nothing against Adele. In fact, I would even go as far as to call her the Francis Scott Key of depressed English speaking women everywhere (because she writes their anthems), but I’d bet money that if you invited … Continue reading

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Oh No, She Dih-Ent

“Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean I’d love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.” –Mariah Carey

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The Terrorists Will Never Win

The terrorists will never win. (Unless, of course, we’re playing any of the following games: 1) Whose Armpits Smell Worse? 2) Who Can Fall Asleep First on the Floor of This Cave? 3) My Dental Hygiene is Way Worse Than … Continue reading

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The Live Nativity

This makes me laugh.

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