Monthly Archives: May 2016
Stink Bugs: Emasculating Otherwise Strong Men Since The Beginning Of Time
I just identified and murdered my first stink bug here in the previously-thought-safe-and-bug-free confines of my home. As I bent down to sneak-attack it from behind with the wadded up piece of toilet paper that I used as an instrument … Continue reading
Dunk Tanks: Spreading Sexually Transmitted Diseases The Fun Way!
I have never been the dunkee in a dunk tank to this point in my life and would politely decline any such future offers unless 1) I’m guaranteed to be first to be dunked; 2) the water comes from a … Continue reading
My Handshake Brings all the Boys to the Yard
A firm handshake is critical. Go bone-crushing hard and you’re viewed as a maniac and probable domestic abuser. Go too soft and you’re a sissy, insincere or creepy. Firm is how it’s played. At the conclusion of a meeting yesterday, … Continue reading
A Well-Armed Militia and a Heavy Dose of Paranoia
This afternoon at lunch, I stopped by an Army surplus store with a colleague to pick up a couple of work trip souvenirs for my boys. The two of us were dressed in suits and driving a domestic sedan where … Continue reading
Let Me Be Frank With You 