Monthly Archives: June 2016

Cinco de I’m An Idiot

I entered an elevator with a man who appeared to me to be Latino. I was closer to the buttons than he so I asked him which floor he’d like me to select? He said what I thought was ‘cinco’ … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | 5 Comments

This Little Piggy Received A Compound Fracture…

Heading southbound on the freeway recently, I was reminded that many women riding shotgun in vans and/or SUV’s bake their hooves on the dashboard. Whenever I see this, I think to myself, 1) does she realize she’s going to dislocate … Continue reading

Posted in Road Trippin' | 2 Comments

It’s Harder To Sexually Assault Me When My Eyes Burn

I wonder if most people who carry pepper spray ever think of out-of-the-box ways of using it during a personal attack? I don’t carry pepper spray but if I did, I believe that I would spray myself in the eyes … Continue reading

Posted in General Tomfoolery/Hijinks/Free Association Thought | Leave a comment

TSA Training Need in Newark: More Patience and Understanding For Our Foreign Friends

I was behind a non-English speaking Asian lady at the TSA checkpoint this morning who had a plastic grocery bag full of snacks and a half-empty liter of water in preparation for a long day of travel. The TSA agent … Continue reading

Posted in Air Travel | Leave a comment

Large Head, Lots of Soup and a Plan

It’s not the fact that the giant transgender person (probably 6-6″ 300lbs) next to me on the plane is wearing a skirt so tight that her testicles are clearly visible in my peripheral vision, the more interesting thing about her … Continue reading

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Confession, Prayer and Oil Change – 10 Minutes Or Less

I just watched another customer at the oil change place have a conversation with his oil change guy where the conversation went very personal to include the oil change guy telling the customer that he’s in the process of rebuilding … Continue reading

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Beware of This Guy’s Weird Bubble Wand

I took my dog to the vet today for his annual check up. The thing that sticks with me is the part where they took a stool sample. You know, that’s the part where they stick that bubble wand up … Continue reading

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