I’m sitting here watching the Today Show and they’re showing a preview of this year’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love holiday traditions and all of the festivities associated with this time of year. However, I believe they’ve really gone off the rails with this “parade”.

When they do that thing where they halt the parade and do a little song and dance number for one of those musicals I’ll never see, I weep for parade purists everywhere. The rest of it is great but the Broadway show stuff is not a good fit.

I sometimes fantasize that I have a remote control hooked up to a set of loudspeakers in Times Square. Just before the Broadway people take center stage, I sit my deviled egg down and click the clicker to blast Transiberian Orchestra electronic Christmas music at decibels that nearly make your ears bleed. The Broadway people would be confused enough to cancel their performance and would shuffle on down the parade route. After a couple of years of this, they’d probably decide that it’s not worth entering the parade anymore because they know that guy in Kentucky has his remote control at the ready and isn’t afraid to use it.

Once the Broadway folks pull out, it would make room for more high school and collegiate marching bands, a troupe of dancing poodles and/or perhaps a few pipe and drum bands made up of first-responders. THAT’S the type of stuff I like to see at a parade.

If Macy’s keeps this up, I’m going to quit buying my Alfani undershirts and clearance rack suits in their stores.