It’s a little early for this, but I do like to plan so that I have a solid list for December 31st. Here’s my list of top 10 things I do not intend to do in the new year (tentatively):

1) join Al Qaeda
2) put my career first
3) jump Snake River Canyon in a homemade rocket
4) take up ‘cutting’ to relieve emotional pain
5) become active in my community…sexually
6) officially change my first name to Nigel
7) introduce ‘Domestic Violence Night’ every Friday night in my home after a 12 pack of Milwaukee’s Best
8) get a Brazilian wax and strut around in a pair of tight plum-smugglers at the neighborhood pool
9) get you comfortable enough with me to tell me your political and religious viewpoints then explain how you have it all wrong
10) eat more black licorice