When someone starts a written sentence with “Wow!”, I really brace myself for the shocking subject that I will soon read about.

If I read a story worthy of starting with ‘Wow’ and it doesn’t turn out to be shocking, I get really sad and disappointed because I was expecting a story about how your neighbor just showed you the necklace of human ears he harvested himself while he was in Vietnam or maybe he showed you the dead hooker that he’s trying to dispose of that is currently decomposing in his shed? Or maybe someone close to you just showed you their fully developed third nipple or how they have a fleshy tail that can actually wag at the tip of their spine?

In any case, please use discretion when starting your story with ‘Wow’, ‘Wow…Just Wow’ and/or ‘Wowee!’ People like me are expecting big things or else we’re going to be really disappointed. Thanks and have a great day!