Big Rings (featuring John Houseman)

I spent quite a bit of time at high school football games this year in support of the band boosters and would hear this song over and over again. I couldn’t tell what they were saying but I could tell you that this is one of the absolute worst songs that I’ve ever heard. Always one to keep an open mind though, I read the lyrics in a theatrical John Houseman/Masterpiece Theatre voice and it sounded quite a bit more tolerable.

image
Yea, I know we just signed a deal but
I need my advance on the next one too
They know Imma be around
Yea, I need it

Cause I got a really big team
And they need some really big rings
They need some really nice things
Better be comin’ with no strings
Better be comin’ with no strings
We need some really nice things
We need some really big rings
I got a really big team
Cause I got a really big team
And they need some really big rings
They need some really nice things
Better be comin’ with no strings
Better be comin’ with no strings
We need some really nice things
We need some really big rings
I got a really big team

Man what a time to be alive
You and yours vs. me and mine
Are we talkin’ teams? Are we talkin’ teams?
Oh you switchin’ sides? Wanna come with me?
Look at the smile on me, look at the owl on me
I do not chase girls, but they run a mile for me
Say she gon’ ride for me, I’ll buy the tires for you
This game is different, you only get one shot when niggas gon’ foul on you
Man fuck ’em all, man we want it all
Don’t get too involved, we gon’ knock you off
And to top it all, I’m with all the dogs
It’s a new season and we still breathin’

And I got a really big team
And they need some really big rings
They need some really nice things
Better be comin’ with no strings
Better be comin’ with no strings
We need some really nice things
We need some really big rings
I got a really big team
I got a really big team
They need some really big rings
They need some really nice things
Better be comin’ with no strings
Better be comin’ with no strings
We need some really nice things
We need some really big rings
I got a really big team

Man what a time, to be alive
I’m drinkin’ lean, they thought I died
I run with kidnappers, I’m talkin’ ’bout kidnappers
I’m talkin’ ’bout murderin’ niggas, I’m talkin’ ’bout carjackers
You just a battle rapper, I’m an official trapper
Niggas be droppin’ subliminals, they’re just some jibber jabber
We take a Mellow Yellow then fill it with red forever-ever
These niggas is jealous, jealous, these niggas is scared, they tellin’-tellin’
I fuck a check up on everything, I bought some ice when the feds came
I bought that new Celine, I got some rings, I got racks like Serena
All of my rings Aquafina, my bitch Aquafina
Pluto and Jupiter, I go to Venus
Fresh out the store but I’m not out the cleaners
Who keepin’ score cause these niggas, they losin’

Cause I got a really big team
And they need some really big rings
They need some really nice things
Better be comin’ with no strings
Better be comin’ with no strings
We need some really nice things
We need some really big rings
I got a really big team
Cause I got a really big team
And they need some really big rings
They need some really nice things
Better be comin’ with no strings
Better be comin’ with no strings
We need some really nice things
We need some really big rings
I got a really big team

This entry was posted in General Tomfoolery/Hijinks/Free Association Thought. Bookmark the permalink.

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