I recently checked out at TJ Maxx with a woman who grunted, snorted and hocked her way through the whole transaction.

There was literally not one second of the two minutes I spent with her where she wasn’t rearranging her phlegm in various ways. It reminded me of Owen from Planes, Trains & Automobiles. I died a little on the inside when she handed me the pen to sign with her plump mucus fingers.

It may be that you had to be there to appreciate the ferocity of her lack of manners and mucus control but I thought it to be a noteworthy event nevertheless. Please pray that I don’t catch that cold because that appeared to be the Mother of all colds.