The question, ‘Should I host a big SuperBowl party?’ never crosses my mind but here’s how that internal dialogue would work with me:

Should I host a big SuperBowl party? Critical decision input factors:

1) The Bengals aren’t in it so who cares who wins?

2) If I want to wager on it, I don’t need a lot of people at the house for that. I can do it online.

3) People don’t want to see a 44 year old man wearing gray, cloth sweatpants and I don’t want to have my Sunday evening attire dictated by clothing consideration for party guests

4) suppose I actually wanted to watch the game – you can’t concentrate on a game AND keep an eye on 50 or so potential thieves wandering freely about your house

5) what if I get tired and want to take a nap in the middle of the 2nd quarter as I sometimes do? Party-goers are sometimes loud and might disturb my much-needed slumber.

6) I look so angry when I stomp around the house yelling “Who put their coals out on my carpet?”

7) What if those motorcycle goons from Weird Science show up and manhandle the party-goers?

You can see from these sample considerations that a SuperBowl party is just not in the cards for me. There are simply too many risks.