Great! My scalp was sunburned yesterday. Based on my last similar experience, it should be about two days before large, Corn Flake-sized sections of my dead scalp are visibly tangled in my hair while other flakes make a full escape and descend upon the shoulders of my suit jacket and/or on the floor, tables and chairs that surround me. Nothing says “I am a professional businessman here to conduct professional business” like being covered in scalp flakes.

It’s kind of like going in to a meeting with a large stain on your shirt (but kind of not like that). With the stain, I always make it a practice of pointing out the stain and explaining that I would never put on a shirt with such a stain in the morning – I simply spilled some coffee on my shirt while on the way to the appointment and this meeting was WAY too important to cancel for a minor coffee spill. This proactive stain explanation leaves everyone feeling good about my sacrifice and in the knowledge that they’re an important client who is worthy of such sacrifice. A businessman’s Purple Heart, if you will (apologies for the bad analogy if you won’t).

The sunburned scalp flake situation is in dire need of a similar resolution. In my last meeting that I attended with sunburned scalp flake, I used the stained shirt approach where I announced my affliction, and then called specific attention to how it differed from unclean hair dander but I really struggled with the feel-good ending. I think that the reference to unclean hair dander was a bad move in hindsight. Maybe I went too far with that? I could see in their eyes that it gave way to worries that it was my cover story and that it might actually be unclean hair dander and that I would leave a bio hazardous trail throughout their office that only specially-trained, helmeted men in yellow bodysuits would effectively be able to clean.

I guess that between now and when I begin to shed my new batch of dead scalp skin, I’ll need to come up with a better strategy for putting aside any worries that I’m dirty or some sort of exotic infectious disease carrier.