The Dander Dilemma


Great! My scalp was sunburned yesterday. Based on my last similar experience, it should be about two days before large, Corn Flake-sized sections of my dead scalp are visibly tangled in my hair while other flakes make a full escape and descend upon the shoulders of my suit jacket and/or on the floor, tables and chairs that surround me. Nothing says “I am a professional businessman here to conduct professional business” like being covered in scalp flakes.

It’s kind of like going in to a meeting with a large stain on your shirt (but kind of not like that). With the stain, I always make it a practice of pointing out the stain and explaining that I would never put on a shirt with such a stain in the morning – I simply spilled some coffee on my shirt while on the way to the appointment and this meeting was WAY too important to cancel for a minor coffee spill. This proactive stain explanation leaves everyone feeling good about my sacrifice and in the knowledge that they’re an important client who is worthy of such sacrifice. A businessman’s Purple Heart, if you will (apologies for the bad analogy if you won’t).

The sunburned scalp flake situation is in dire need of a similar resolution. In my last meeting that I attended with sunburned scalp flake, I used the stained shirt approach where I announced my affliction, and then called specific attention to how it differed from unclean hair dander but I really struggled with the feel-good ending. I think that the reference to unclean hair dander was a bad move in hindsight. Maybe I went too far with that? I could see in their eyes that it gave way to worries that it was my cover story and that it might actually be unclean hair dander and that I would leave a bio hazardous trail throughout their office that only specially-trained, helmeted men in yellow bodysuits would effectively be able to clean.

I guess that between now and when I begin to shed my new batch of dead scalp skin, I’ll need to come up with a better strategy for putting aside any worries that I’m dirty or some sort of exotic infectious disease carrier.

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7 Responses to The Dander Dilemma

  1. Katherine says:

    This is great! I think we have all been there. Personally, I will always rub coconut oil into my sunburned scalp as often as needed and when it starts to flake, I use the cooling head & shoulders and gently massage for several minutes, rinsing and re-lathering once or twice. You can even use a gentle brush to help massage in the shampoo. Follow up with more oil! If you try that, I hope it helps 🙂 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • fncoffee says:

      I’m afraid it’s going to just get worse over time as the hair on the top of my head thins out. I’ll keep some coconut oil on hand. Maybe I’ll do one of those slicked back hair looks with it – for style and medicinal purposes. Good call!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. paminat0r says:

    I agree with Katherine. Try some coconut oil and make up a story about trying out a new hair gel. Also, make a note to yourself that in the future you will wear a hat when the sun beats down on you 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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