I ate an entire bag of root beer flavored candy today. From start to finish, it took me about 45 minutes. It wasn’t a small, two or three serving bag either. It was one of those bags meant to last for two or three weeks when shared by an entire Walton-sized family.

I’m not sure why I do this but I know one thing, I can NEVER AGAIN be alone in a room with a large bag of candy. I have ZERO candy self control. It’s very similar to the way a toddler goes after candy:

You’ll ruin your appetite.
Give me the candy.

You’ll make yourself sick.
Give me the candy.

You’re a 43 year old man with elevated blood pressure.
PUT THE CANDY IN MY STINKIN’ HAND!!

I’ll be lucky if this gluttonous display of lack of self-control doesn’t result in an instant Type-2 dia-beetis diagnosis. Never again! I’m off the candy now for good.