Yesterday, I dealt with the customer service representative of a company which has been paid to provide a service they have failed to provide.

Upon realizing that my claim was true but without admitting it, the representative quickly shifted gears from being affable, overly-pleasant and confident to almost panic-stricken and kept repeating that “this issue is going level 2” and that I would be contacted in the future.

I was somehow comforted by this response but after the call, I realized that I just assumed that “level 2” is the “code red”, “DEFCON 1”, “THREATCON ALPHA” of customer service without questioning things further.

From now on, whenever I get into an uncomfortable situation, I’m going to utter the phrase “I’m taking this to Level 2.” in an airline pilot type voice and instantly run out of the room. That way, people will think that things are being worked on at a state of heightened awareness and will forget about the whole thing later.