I have never been the dunkee in a dunk tank to this point in my life and would politely decline any such future offers unless 1) I’m guaranteed to be first to be dunked; 2) the water comes from a purified source and 3) I was witness to a thorough sterilization of the dunk tank by a professionally certified dunk tank sterilization crew just prior to my entry into the tank.

I have always been of the opinion that without proper sterilization, being second or later in the dunk tank is the same thing as bobbing for apples in a bucket of somebody’s crotch water.