Let Me Be Frank With You

This whole blog thing is taking some getting used to. My skills are lacking in the technology area so I’m still figuring out the capabilities of the site.

The way it stands, it kind of feels like a non user friendly version of Facebook, only with no Facebook friends. Or maybe when I crack wise on a conference call at work, then pause for the obligatory laughter only to hear the deafening silence because either everyone has their phones on mute or everyone thinks I’m an incredible tool.

Despite the challenges that lay ahead of me, I shall persevere until my subscription runs out in a year or I become a household name celebrity and things like this are way beneath my new station in life.

http://www.hulu.com/watch/47611

I just saw a commercial featuring a bunch of carolers doing some caroling. I hope that carolers never darken my doorstep.

I’ve always been very uncomfortable with adults who are comfortable with singing a song right in my face. I see the look in their eye that is looking past my layer of pleasantries to try to see what my true reaction is to their performance of the song. Usually, I think their song sucks but I don’t want to be rude or hurt anyone’s feelings so I concentrate really hard at making sure their deep gaze doesn’t detect the staring caroler negativity that pours out of my soul.

I don’t know whether or not to look them in the eye while they sing at me either. I feel like I should but it’s almost impossible for me to hold a stare while they’re grinning at me and singing. If anyone ever wants to make me wildly uncomfortable, send a caroling church group to my house filled with carolers who insist on making eye contact with me while they sing.

If you’re a Civil War reenactment enthusiast who is all charged up about a big 3-day weekend reenactment-fest out in the woods with your club of fellow adult make-believers, I’ll bet it would be a huge disappointment to learn that you’re going to be killed off in the first reenactment battle 10 minutes after you suit up. Because if your reenactment brigade is one that stays true to reality, you have no choice but to lay there really still for the entire three days.

While you’re laying motionless on the ground trying not to flinch as a Carpenter Ant enters your nostril,  everyone else is eating squirrel cooked over an open fire followed by in-character fellowship around the camp fire. I wonder if those who continuously get that assignment see it as the first sign they’re about to be booted from the club because their acting skills aren’t up to snuff or they’ve just made too many waves with club management? If I were to get that assignment, I’d refuse to do it and would write my own script that day (which would include lots of whiskey and very few inhibitions) because what are they going to do – kick me out?

The way I see things for now, I have about 20 more years before retirement. Once I retire, I figure I’ll join a group like this and hit the parade circuit.

It’s never too early to plan and I don’t know if you need to put in 10 or 15 years with this group before you hit ‘go-kart honor guard level’ so if anyone has connections to get me in now, while it’s early, I’d be much obliged.