Monthly Archives: November 2015

I want to do this every morning of my life. By ‘this’, I mean sit in a fully loaded minivan parked in an affluent area, wearing a suit and sunglasses, sipping coffee and listening to Van Halen’s Runnin’ With the … Continue reading →

The guy sitting next to me on this flight has seemingly done everything he can to unknowingly annoy me. It’s like I’ve just won the Triple Crown of Disgust. 1) he took his shoes off; 2) his breath could knock … Continue reading →

Just passed a wedding chapel/ hotel with “lovers hot tubs” in each room. I’ll bet those rooms smell like DNA and regret. Pardon me while I go off to blow chunks (which makes me wonder if some biker lady with … Continue reading →

I’ll use this sparingly for advertisements but I feel the need to tell all residents of Oakbrook, Carter’s Mill and Hearthstone that there is a culinary treasure right in our backyards. There’s no longer a need for Buffalo Wild Wings … Continue reading →

I’m sitting here watching the Today Show and they’re showing a preview of this year’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. Now don’t get me wrong, I love holiday traditions and all of the festivities associated with this time of year. However, I … Continue reading →

A bee just landed on my face while I was driving at approximately 45 mph. I almost blacked out from swatting my face so hard. The force of my slap knocked the sunglasses off my face and into Jason’s lap … Continue reading →

Just saw two ‘hood rats enter the mall decked out in their ‘hood rat gear (baggy pants, flat-billed marijuana leaf baseball cap, ski cap, etc.). The guy with the ski cap put on some of those oversized headphones for the … Continue reading →

Sitting behind two men who shave the hair on their arms, wear skinny jeans, toddler-sized shirts and bathe in Halston Z-14 cologne. Out of all of the colognes on the market, these two Nancy-boys have created a fragrance force field … Continue reading →

For many years now I have found myself driving at night in unfamiliar places listening to the radio – it comes with the job. Each time that the Delilah Show comes on, I can’t bring myself to change the channel. … Continue reading →

One time several years ago, I recall sitting in the dugout during a softball game next to some guy who played for us for a game as a fill-in. He was one of those guys who has a pot belly, … Continue reading →