Author Archives: fncoffee

I’m sitting here watching the Today Show and they’re showing a preview of this year’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. Now don’t get me wrong, I love holiday traditions and all of the festivities associated with this time of year. However, I … Continue reading →

A bee just landed on my face while I was driving at approximately 45 mph. I almost blacked out from swatting my face so hard. The force of my slap knocked the sunglasses off my face and into Jason’s lap … Continue reading →

Just saw two ‘hood rats enter the mall decked out in their ‘hood rat gear (baggy pants, flat-billed marijuana leaf baseball cap, ski cap, etc.). The guy with the ski cap put on some of those oversized headphones for the … Continue reading →

Sitting behind two men who shave the hair on their arms, wear skinny jeans, toddler-sized shirts and bathe in Halston Z-14 cologne. Out of all of the colognes on the market, these two Nancy-boys have created a fragrance force field … Continue reading →

For many years now I have found myself driving at night in unfamiliar places listening to the radio – it comes with the job. Each time that the Delilah Show comes on, I can’t bring myself to change the channel. … Continue reading →

One time several years ago, I recall sitting in the dugout during a softball game next to some guy who played for us for a game as a fill-in. He was one of those guys who has a pot belly, … Continue reading →

PUBLIC BEWARE: while flipping channels tonight, I stumbled across a show called Grandmother Lovers on TLC. As its name implies, the show featured randy 70-something year old women and the young men (most of whom part their hair in the … Continue reading →

During lunch today, I exchanged pleasant small talk with the cashier who rang up my lunch at a place kind of like Whole Foods. As I accepted my change, the friendly cashier said “Enjoy your food!” to which I quickly … Continue reading →

I ate an entire bag of root beer flavored candy today. From start to finish, it took me about 45 minutes. It wasn’t a small, two or three serving bag either. It was one of those bags meant to last … Continue reading →

I’m pretty sure that all coveted longstanding recreational boogeyboard records in the Male, Over 40, 225lb-plus category were shattered earlier this week when a certain large, pale man from Kentucky took his skills from the muddy banks of the Ohio … Continue reading →